It was this story about two years ago that my fiance came over for dinner and a movie. The Christmas tree was decorated and lit up the living room, the couch ever so cozy and we both had warm friendly Christmas spirit. A Peaceful Night indeed.
Unbeknownst to me she unplugged the timer to the outdoor Christmas lights so she could charge her phone. No big deal really, I just didn’t know. The next night was not as peaceful. Fortunately for her she was not present. We did exchange text messages though. And this was the fire, the story:
“You unplugged my timer? Didn’t you?”
“Omg yeah I unplugged it…did I do something to it??!”
“You plugged it back in. The time was off and the lights didn’t go on. My neighbor was standing close to my driveway when I got home. I accused him of tampering with my lights. It got heated and I called the cops. A cop showed up dressed as Santa Claus. He had come from
the Policemen’s Christmas party. He was drunk and when he got out of his cop car his pants fell to his knees. Me and my neighbor looked at each other and became baffled at that sight. We decided to call the police chief. When he arrived, he was with the other cops wife. Oh boy it’s been a mess.”
“Oh man. The police chief shows up mumbles something to himself and then yells out, that he needs a glass of water. He barges into my neighbor’s house to get some water and found a pound of weed on my neighbor’s kitchen table. I could hear arguing and then the chief wrestled him to the floor cuffed him and then called for back up.”
“A freaking SWAT team showed up and I told them what happened. They told me that I couldn’t turn my lights back on and that I had to surrender the timer as it was now evidence. Meanwhile the cop dressed as Santa puked all over my driveway….and is now passed out. The police chief
was just taken to the hospital because during the scuffle my neighbor’s dog bit him and then the other cops wife fell into my neighbor’s pool looking for the powder room. She practically drowned. She was just taken away in an ambulance. Please don’t unplug the timer again. Okay?”
“Ok I won’t unplug the timer. So sorry babe!”
“No no its okay. I was just playing. I got home and the lights were off. I went inside right away. Went right to the timer and saw the time was wrong. I laughed and said. My silly girlfriend. She must have unplugged it last night.
Goodness, I said to myself as I smiled. I changed the time back and all is okay….
But when I turned around there was a man hiding behind the door wearing colorful pantyhose. And a thin coat with no sleeves.”
“Oh my goodness.”
“I let out a screech and grabbed my chair with dirty clothes on it and slugged him in the chin…. His arms got tangled in my dirty underwear and i got him to the ground and shoved a roll of socks in his mouth. As I got up to run I could hear a muffled gargling sound coming from his
face. Luckily for me there was an undercover cop lying down in my driveway dressed as Santa.”